May 7, 2017
Revival Bar, Toronto
If you’re like me — you’ve read all the books, you’ve seen all the movies (multiple times), you feel a connection to a house, you truly wish you could have gone to Hogwarts — then going to Nerd Girl Burlesque’s Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them Harry Potter burlesque tribute show was a given. Nay, a must!
The evening began with Newt Scamander (perfectly played by Titus Androgynus) having to corral his fantastic beasts, all played by the gals from Nerd Girl Burlesque, from all over the Revival Bar: his Niffler (Loretta Jean), the Occamy (Helen of Tronna), his friend the Bowtruckle (Henrietta VII), and the Erumpent (Delicia Pastiche) whom he wooed with the perfect dance. Phew, I hope I got those right!
Although the evening was actually acts from the entire Potterverse, our emcee for the evening, the lovely headmistress Reddy, kept the entire show connected and on track which her amazing knowledge of all things Harry Potter.
Harry Potter Series
From the original Harry Potter books/movies we had Ron Weasley (Bianca Boom Boom) showing us how he saw himself in the Mirror of Erised, and it was way more sexy than J.K. probably ever thought.
Then there was the unrequited love that had Draco Malfoy (Henrietta VIII) pining for Harry Potter (Titus Androgynus) — who knew? And speaking of Harry Potter, that boy was just setting a whole bunch of hearts on fire, including Dobby’s (Dante Legend). Luckily for him, all his flirting and seduction led to his very own sock and freedom.
Dumbledore’s magical and beautiful phoenix (Loretta Jean) made a fiery appearance. Professor Trelawney (Pickles LaVey) found some disturbing imagery in her tea leaves reading which had us worried. And rightfully so, since it looked like evil liked to striptease as well.
The most deranged cat lady in the world, Dolores Umbridge (Belle Jumelles), dragged poor Harry (Titus Androgynus) into her office — complete with a wall of cat plates — to punish him with seduction. How traumatic. And the Hungarian Horntail (Ivory) from Harry’s trials in the Tri Wizard Tournament even made a truly majestic appearance. And my favourite Death Eater, Bellatrix Lestrange (Helen of Tronna), all wild hair and bathed in black, came out to threaten and scare with a mad striptease.
But the most evil beings in the Harry Potter series were, of course, He Who Shall Not Be Typed In a Blog Post (Sky Blew), and his pet snake Nagini (Betsy Swoon). I can’t even get into how slithering and seductive this snake’s striptease was, can’t even! But the highlight of the night was the Dark Lord himself — the makeup was perfection and this really was the most amazing part of the act. How many hours did it take to look just like the Dark Lord? That is devotion to the art!
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
From the new series we had Queenie (Delicia Pastiche) tred so desperately to make a meal without the use of magic. It failed spectacularly! Seraphine Picquery (Zyra Lee Vanity) from the MACUSA stepped in and showed her strength and style with a powerful striptease.
Fabulous tribute, Nerd Girls — what an amazing show. Congrats to everyone and I hope I didn’t miss anything or anyone. Loved it!